My child is growing up...

My son graduated from 5th grade last week, so starting next year he will join the big bad hormone-infested, awkward world known as Middle School. This year has been quite the eye opener for me. He's been showing signs of "growing up" for a while, but it really hit home this year. I know my kid is growing up...

1.) My son has actually start caring about his appearance. This happened to us the day of his graduation. My son has never cared about his appearance. I can barely get the child to brush his teeth, much less care about whether or not his clothes match. I started letting him pick out his own clothes this year, and as much as it pains me to watch him go to school with mix-matched clothes, I have to let him make these fashion mistakes. But, he actually told his dad he wasn't comfortable wearing brown shoes with black pants (he picked this out himself) and wanted to make sure he looked 'nice' for his graduation. I can only assume he wanted to look 'nice' for a certain girl he's had a crush on all year. He also told his dad he thought he (his dad) should wear the same outfit he wore to church Sunday because it looked good on him.

2.) He is no longer required to go to the "kid check in" booths at church because he is now part of the phenomenon known as "youth" and is no longer referred to as a "kid". He can now check himself in without the help of mom and dad and aren't required to wearing the name tags that end up on the floor board of the car.

3.) Yesterday a song from early 2000's came on the radio and my son referred to it as "Old School". I didn't think it was possible for an 11 year old to think anything was "Old School".

4.) Last Sunday he received a Teen Bible from church as a "moving up" gift that has no cartoon depictions of smiling pictures of Jesus, no Noah and the ark pictures, no strategically placed leaf covered pictures of Adam and Eve. Instead there is a list of "60 of Satans Favorite Lies", which include discussions on the true definition of sex, pornography, and dating. Naturally as a curious pre-pubesant 11 year old boy, this lead to some uncomfortable conversations. Luckily because I'm the mother of a boy, I get to refer most of these questions to Dad.

5.) His new favorite shows are those that come on CBS, NBC, and ABC and not PBS, Cartoon Network, and Nickelodeon. My son's favorite show is "Lie to Me"...he now wants to be a body language expert when he grows up. Just last year he wanted to be a superhero.

6.) Helping with homework now involves some research on the internet. And I'm not talking about my son doing the research. It's me, trying to figure out how to help him figure out certain assignments. It's a pretty humbling experience to have to tell your child "I'll help you in a little bit", and spend that next "little bit" feverishly researching how to do certain things.

7.) He has recently start paying attention to my driving and just yesterday told me that "it isn't safe to text and drive". He only noticed because he's now old enough to sit in the front seat.

8.) My son tells me almost everyday "Mom I'm almost taller than you".

I am proud of my son. His teacher told us that he is the bright spot in her day. And he really is a great kid. (not that I'm biased or anything) I get all "mom" sometimes and worry about him. I worry that he is about to be in middle school and the things he will encounter there. I worry that puberty is setting in and girls won't have cooties anymore, and instead he will start noticing other things that rhyme with "cooties". I worry about the mistakes he will make. I worry about how I will react to him having his first girlfriend. But I know that if I turn my worries and my son over to the protection of Christ he will be ok. And I will tell him...

"My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you prosperity. Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and man. Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil. This will bring health to your body and nourishment to your bones. Honor the LORD with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine. My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline and do not resent his rebuke,
because the LORD disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in. "

Proverbs 3:1-12

Flying Builds Faith

I recently went to Oregon for a week on a business trip. This was the first time I have ever flown any significant distance. As I got ready to board the plane, my husband called me and prayed for my flight. It eased my anxiety...until I sat down in the plane. Now, my husband had warned me about what would happen once the engines started and the plane actually started moving. His advice...pray. I did more than just pray...I chatted with Jesus, actually I did a lot more pleading and He just patiently listened. As the plane started moving at speeds no human should really ever go, all prayers ceased, and panic set it. I realized I was in a situation that I was completely out of control of and the thought of my life being in the hands of some pilot I didn't know put the fear of God in me. So, like a rookie traveler, I actually teared up a little. (I refuse to admit I actually cried) Once the plane actually left the ground I realized something. My life wasn't in the hands of the human pilot at all, it was in the hands of the Holy Pilot, Jesus. My husband told me that flying builds faith, and he was absolutely right. Flying is not something I have done frequently, nor do I plan to, but it is another situation like everything else in life that we have zero control over. The one thing in life that we can always control is our faith. Even if we lack faith, we have control over praying to Jesus to help us with our unbelief. So, as I sat there in the plane, a peace overcame me. I was like the father that doubted Jesus with his son. I was concerned that I might not make it back home. I began praying, "...I do believe! Help overcome my unbelief!" And instead of feeling fear, I had faith that God would keep me safe.

"...Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth and becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to drive out the spirit, but they could not. O unbelieving generation," Jesus replied, "how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me. So they brought him. When the spirit saw Jesus, it immediately threw the boy into a convulsion. He fell to the ground and rolled around, foaming at the mouth. Jesus asked the boy's father, "How long has he been like this? From childhood," he answered. It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us. 'If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes." Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!" Mark 9:17-24

Squeezing Blood from the Turnip

In our current economy, there are thousands, if not millions of families who are struggling financially. Many people have received past due notices, foreclosure notices, and negative bank statements in the mail. Our family has been close several times, but have yet to receive these. So, you can imagine my surprise when I opened my mail last week and had a notice from a company that audits our church claiming that we had not met the amount that we had 'pledged' back when the church started a building fund campaign. I was floored. So, I went into our 2008 tax information to get the statement of giving we received from the church. Total, we gave more to the church than what we had pledged for this campaign, but stopped mid-year writing 2 checks so that they could keep track of what portion was our tithe and what portion was for the campaign. So, apparently what we gave wasn't separated.

Receiving a notice like this from a church is simply not something I can understand. Especially when it is a church who has a brand new worship building, student center, coffee shop, and bell tower, yet not enough funds to pay for it? Why? Because apparently our (and I'm sure we weren't the only ones who received this notice) pledge wasn't met and funds weren't coming in to cover their expenses. At the end of the letter, they asked how much would we be contributing in 2009? None, because we do not intend to continue attending this church. If a church can't take into consideration and have compassion for the economic hardships that their members are enduring, then I think they are completely missing the point. A big beautiful building isn't what makes church, a high tech nice student center doesn't make a church, a coffee shop isn't church, a bell tower certainly doesn't make a church, what makes a church is Christ being the center, and the people coming together to worship Him. "For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them" (Matthew 18:20) I know it is a difficult thing for churches to ask their members for money. It is a touchy subject for most people. I understand that it is a necessity for members to give to the church in order for them to meet their financial obligations, it is even commanded. We are also commanded to not be in debt. This is something that Dave Ramsey has based his financial messages on. "The borrower is a slave to the lender" (Proverbs 22:7) I think it is wrong for a church to send out passive aggressive reminders that members didn't meet their pledges in a campaign that was unnecessary in the first place. I was speaking to a fellow Christian brother about this, and he told me about two other churches that he knows have a strong financial foundation. One has paid for a new building with cash, and another is head of their weekly budget and ahead of their debt repayment and are not sending notices to members that have missed the mark with their pledges. There are many church members that may have not have the funds to be able to give over and above what they tithed to the church, but they were able to give their time. The body giving time to the church is an invaluable asset that is often taken for granted and caused discouragement and discord within the church. When members receive reminder notices that they still owe money to the church, it is an insult, at least it was to me. We are called to be cheerful givers. "Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver." (2 Corinthians 9:7) Will people now give out of necessity or obligation instead of out of kindness and from their heart because of these notices? Are other churches able to stay ahead of debt repayment and meet their weekly budgets because their members are cheerfully giving and not being reminded of what they weren't able to give? I don't know. I only know our families situation and my opinion. I want to be a cheerful giver and I will certainly be praying for this church. I pray that the members do not get discouraged, and that the leadership leads in a manner that glorifies God.

"In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive." Acts 20:35

Communion Tray Etiquette

I came across this blog http://stufffchristianslike.blogspot.com/ and had to share this post called "Communion Tray Etiquette". I typically post pretty serious topics, so I thought I'd change it up a little. Pretty funny, yet true stuff. Enjoy.

If you’d never been to church before and someone handed you a plate of wafers and a spaceship-designed, traveling presentation tray full of juice cups during the middle of service, would that be weird? Would proclaiming that we’re about to eat the body of Christ clear things up? Probably not. You’d be puzzled, maybe even a little sweaty, until someone leaned over and handed you a copy of this book. And then everything would be alright because you’d know the five easy rules of Communion Tray Etiquette:

Rule 1: Always be prepared.The second you realize you’re about to share communion, start scouting out which direction it’s coming from. Watch the back-and-forth, every-other-aisle jump the ushers are doing to determine if it will be passed from your left or your right. Assess the possible handoff skills of the person next to you. Do they appear cagey? Nervous? Old? Remember, they’ll be passing the tray to you with only one hand since their other hand will be holding the cup or the wafer. If you have even an inkling that your pew neighbor won’t execute a perfect handoff, prepare a two-hand reception. Not alligator-style like in God’s favorite sport, Frisbee, but with both hands out gently, as if you’re saying, “Hey fella, that’s OK, you can hand me that tray. It’s in good hands. You’ve done a great job. I’ll take it from here.”

Rule 2: Move it along.The biggest communion tray foul you can commit is to hold the tray too long. You’re essentially causing a pew traffic jam or “PTJ.” While you sit there and tediously make up your mind, you’re signaling to everyone else sitting next to you, “Don’t mind me, I’m just preventing you from partaking in the most tender sacrament of faith. I’m blocking you from the body of Christ.” Aim to receive the tray, make your selection, and pass it to your neighbor in under two seconds. Sound impossible? It’s not if you follow rules three and four…

Rule 3: Practice quick cup selection.I don’t know what kind of tray your church uses for communion, but growing up we used silver dishes with elevated, circular rows of cups. Kind of like the hats that Devo wore in the “Whip It” video. As you look down on all these options, you’re going to be tempted to analyze which one “looks best.” “Which is the fullest? Which one looks like it might spill? If I take a certain cup, can I empty a row like some sort of reverse game of Connect Four? Shoot, someone already took the center cup. That’s my favorite cup! That’s the King cup.” Ignore these thoughts. They’re only going to slow you down and make it look like you’re still deciding how you feel about this whole “Jesus thing.” Grab the first cup you make eye contact with and pass.

Rule 4: Break bread, not your concentration.Chances are the bread or wafer will not be uniform in size. You might be looking at a plate full of wafers broken up into a variety of shapes and girths, or an actual loaf of bread will land in your lap. Do you put the tray down so you can use both bare hands on the loaf? Do you keep the tray in one hand and try to form some kind of eagle claw that can rip a chunk of bread out even though you’re not stabilizing the loaf? How much bread is too much bread? How big a wafer should you choose? Deep breaths, deep breaths. We’re going to get through this together.First and foremost, regardless of what’s on the tray, don’t root around. You’re not digging for buried treasure. As far as bread goes, I’m a fan of using both hands. Place the tray quickly on your lap, use your left hand to gently touch the back of the loaf and then pull a gumball-sized piece of bread off the front of the loaf with your right hand. (If you can fit both butter and jam on the piece of bread you’ve selected, you’ve gone too big and should be ashamed of yourself for hogging Jesus.) Then move on. No regrets about your piece. You got a great piece. It’s a fine piece. Let it go.

Rule 5: Pace yourself with consumption.It’s hard to know when to eat your bread and drink your wine because different churches do communion different ways. So watch the crowd and the minister. Wait until you see a majority of people partaking. And be prepared to pretend you were just scratching your cheek if you go to put the bread in your mouth and realize right before it touches your lips that you were too early.

Ultimately, you might mess up all five of these steps. You might drop the tray on the floor and cause a huge commotion and have everyone stare at you. But I think if you did, God would say the same thing we say at our house when somebody spills: “No big deal.” Because it’s not about the cup or the wafer or the cold the person next to you is inevitably going to give you. It’s about Christ and He tends to live outside of etiquette.

Acupuncture for Sin

About two months ago I started going to an acupuncturist. Now, I know most people think "whoa, that's weird" and have images of Pinhead from the movie Hellraiser in their mind. But it's really worth trying. I have suffered from migraines for about 10 years and have run the gammit of treatments and pills, none of which have eliminated the problem. So, I decided that instead of being on pills for the rest of my life, that really wouldn't solve the problem I would try something different which is what lead me to go see an acupuncturist. The doctor that I went to see is the most thorough doctor I've ever been too. He ran some allergy tests on me and discovered that my biggest problem was my caffeine & sugar intake. My body sees caffeine as a toxin and sends me into a cycle of problems. I eliminated caffeine from my diet and significantly reduced my sugar intake. And after a few weeks of going to see this doctor, and my new diet, my headaches were completely gone! I felt like a completely different person. It's amazing what pain-free living can do for your overall mental, physical and spiritual health. Then, a few weeks ago I started back on caffeine. Which leads me to why I'm posting today.

Why do we as Christians do stuff we know is bad for us? For me, I wanted something to help with my energy level when exercising, and I knew that headaches could be a possible side effect, but if they came back I would stop taking it. Well, I've stopped, but the headaches are still there. This is so symbolic of how life really works. People get involved in things that they know are wrong, but say to themselves or others "I'll stop when I need to" or "nothing will happen to me", and they set themselves up to deal with the repercussions of sin. Now, did I sin when I started taking caffeine again? No, but it was stupid. And because my headaches are back, my attitude is affected and it is harder to be patient with people, and that can turn into sin. That is how sin works. It's deceptive and although whatever people involve themselves in may not directly be a sin, the consequences could lead them to sin. If you haven't tried acupuncture, it's definitely worth doing. It's natural, and doesn't hurt, and worked wonders for me. I'm back at it again, and this time I'm sticking to what I know works.

"As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient. All of us also lived among them at one time, gratifying the cravings of our sinful nature and following its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature objects of wrath. But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved." Ephesians 2:1-5

Jesus on the Wall

I was thinking about the image I had of Jesus when I was younger. In my home, we had a picture of Jesus on the wall, one which I'm sure many of you also had. It's the most popular picture of Jesus, and shaped what I thought Jesus looked like, but not necessarily what Jesus was to me. It wasn't hung in my home for any reverence purposes, but rather for decor. Which wasn't much of decor since it was painted in ugly muted browns and yellows, which matched the nicotine stains on our walls. I can remember wondering what Jesus was really like when I would look at this picture. I had heard through the few times that I had gone to church with my grandmother that Jesus was a loving, joyous, wonderful, forgiving father. In the picture itself he looks sad, morose even, peaceful but not happy. The picture never really clued me in at all on what Jesus was really like. It was just Jesus on the wall. Sure, I looked at the picture everyday, but that's about all he was to me. A picture. Sort of like an absentee father, there to look at, but not really there. This is how my father was, so it was very hard for me to accept the idea that a heavenly father loved me, when my own father had a difficult time showing this. It is interesting to me how our image of God is formed. For some it is through going to church and through learning at an early age from parents. For others, it is through learning the hard way. Which is exactly how I learned. Since I viewed God much like an absentee father, it was almost impossible for me to accept the fact that he died for me, and loved me, and would forgive me. It wasn't until I accepted that idea that I needed his love, acceptance and forgiveness that I really began to be open to the idea of a real Jesus instead of the sad Jesus on the wall. I didn't accept Jesus through faith alone....at first. I was brazen enough, while in the midst of sinning to say, "I know I'm playing with fire", but I simply didn't care. For me, Jesus was still moping on my parents wall and didn't want anything to do with someone like me. I'd already been hurt by my earthly father, I certainly wasn't going to open myself up to being hurt by my heavenly father. But then my life came to a point where the Jesus on the wall was my only place to turn. And Jesus showed me that He loved and accepted me through other people, specifically my husband. He showed me that He had been there all along, and that He wasn't the absentee father painted in yellow & brown, and definitely wasn't just hanging on the wall to be walked by and ignored everyday. Instead, he had been painting a picture of himself on the walls of my heart, and this picture was much prettier than the one I had become accustomed to.

Alcoholism Cure?

I recently came across an article about a pill that is being dubbed a cure for alcoholism. It is supposed to reduce the craving that an alcoholic feels when he or she wants a drink. The #1 issue I have with this idea is that this pill is creating another dependence in the mind of the alcoholic. Addiction is a very complex disease. It has spiritual, emotional, and physical properties. All of which have to be address to help the addict. If a pill is prescribed to help the alcoholic overcome the cravings, what happens when that pill is discontinued? Do the cravings return? And if so, what steps has the alcoholic taken to address these cravings without popping a pill? Which leads me to the #2 reason why I disagree with it. This pill may in fact decrease the desire to drink, but having to take a pill for the rest of your life so that you won't be an active alcoholic isn't working on the root of the disease itself. The desire to stop has to be there in order for anything to help. In rehab centers, occasionally medication is prescribed to help with the withdrawal symptoms that addicts are facing. This I can understand. What I cannot understand or condone is yet another pill used as a crutch for addiction. Back when the anti-depressant boom started, mental health issues began being treated in doctors offices as frequently as the common cold, and anti-depressants began being prescribed as often as antibiotics. Now it is completely out of control. I believe this will happen with this "alcoholism cure". People will view it as a quick fix and stop doing what it takes to really deal the disease itself. In the article I read about this said, "Dr. Kevin Clark says the traditional model -- based on intensive therapy and the 12 steps popularized by Alcoholics Anonymous -- is still best. It is a disease of the brain, but it's a multifaceted disease. It has a spiritual component, a behavioral component to it...Our experience tells us that having the network of support and recovery is what really makes the difference." I absolutely agree. Therapy will help the addict understand where their disease comes from and why they choose that avenue to cope with their issues. Rehab and 12 step programs help the addict understand how to deal with and overcome their addiction. It isn't until an addict reaches a point of dispair that they are often willing to consider getting help, and even after this point many people still relapse. A pill isn't going to solve this problem. The spiritual component behind addiction is the most important piece. In 12 step programs, steps 2 & 3 encompass this very idea. Step 2 states, "we came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity" and Step 3 states " we made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him". I have absolute faith that anything can be overcome through the power of Christ. Not through a pill, not solely through therapy, not solely through 12 step programs, not solely through the support of friends and family. All of these things are important in the process of recovery (with the exception of the pill), but Christ is the Great Physician and we can do all things through Him who gives us strength.

"To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy— to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen."
Jude 1:24-25